Before I came to see Brendan, I was very unhappy with my relationship with my wife of over 30 years. I was unhappy with her sexual responsiveness and felt constantly criticized by her. I would collapse with the tone of her voice or even an expression could send me into a tailspin. My wife was no happier and had suggested separation.
All our 30 plus years of married life I tried to be the “good husband” by being the “nice guy.” I tried so very hard to please her thinking that my tactic of trying to make everything ok would work. Needless to say, I failed most of the time. When she was unhappy or angry with me I would shut down, pout or disappear for a few days until she came and tried to patch things up with some make-up sex.
The results have been nothing short of remarkable. I have learned that what my wife needed in order to be a woman was for me to be a man. Once I started changing how I was with my wife, she challenged me to my core. I had no idea of how deeply I could be cut and still stand there and stay engaged with her while she pushed me to find out if I was really going to be a man she could count on and trust. She needed to know that she could be all sides of herself, the good, bad and ugly to see if I really cared about her and not just “the goodies.”
I stayed with her for three weeks of the most intense emotional roller coaster I have ever been on. The ugly turned awesome and back again. After three weeks of receiving her on all levels, from all parts of herself, she collapsed in my arms, totally in love with me. Since then we have been like teenagers in love. I didn’t realize how many times I could still have sex in a single day.
I regret all the years that I could have been a man for her and given her the pleasure of being a woman. But, no matter. What is important are the wonderful changes that I have experience in my work with Brendan – I feel strong and centered in myself and my relationship with my wife just keeps getting better.